Just think of the tip

A waiter’s life can be tough.

If your boss isn’t making your wages up with tips you’re bombarded by drunken numpties on their annual escape from the office for their Christmas do.

Still, some guests are a handful of a different sort.

Kitchen Rat has heard of one gentleman who is currently terrorising the male waiting staff of London.

Although apparently usually content simply to flirt outrageously with any waiter that catches his eye, a recent dinner engagement saw him go one step beyond.

Someway into the meal his fellow dinners realised, with understandable shock, that their guest had his hand between a young waiter’s legs and was “providing support” of an unusual sort for the chap while he poured the wine.

Amazed that the waiter hadn’t so much as flinched and didn’t seem outwardly upset, one diner asked how he could keep such a stiff upper lip while being handled so.

“I’m thinking of the massive tip, sir,” replied the waiter philosophically.

“Me, too,” replied his assailant gleefully, not missing a beat.

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