I'm gonna give you to the count of ten

There's cutting it fine, and then there's taking the concept to a whole new no-skin-remaining-on-your-teeth-level. 

Or so the poor sods who were staying at the Springfield Hotel in Tyneside recently discovered the hard way.

Customers were given just 20 minutes to pack up and get out, after the hotel was closed with immediate effect.

The hotel, which was part of Legacy Hotels, went into receivership in October and handed over management of the hotel to GVA Grimley, acting on behalf of Lloyds TSB Bank.

Some poor blighters at the Springfield Hotel were even escorted to their rooms on Monday morning by security staff who watched them pack every last item (imagine the horror of those who had brought less salubrious items along with them for the weekend!)

Thirty hotel workers were also told they had lost their jobs as operator Legacy Hotels ceased to be in charge from midnight on Sunday.

Andy Townsend, chief executive of Legacy Hotels said: "It is a grave disappointment that this situation has occurred and I am led to believe that Licensing Solutions are working with everybody concerned to find a speedy conclusion to this situation."

Kitchen Rat may be wrong, but of all things that could be improved, being "speedy" wasn't really at the top of the list...